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Monday, April 25, 2011

Lose weight by having fun in the bedroom

Lose weight by having fun in the bedroom

In “The Ultimate Sex Diet” author Kerry McCloskey shows couples how to shed pounds by engaging in their favorite activity. Read an excerpt

Let's face it. Dieting isn't normally considered very exotic, glamorous or fun.

It usually involves lots of time in the kitchen measuring out portions, staring longingly at the pint of Haagen-Daz in the freezer and wondering when you'll be able to fit into your favorite jeans again.

But in “The Ultimate Sex Diet” author Kerry McCloskey offers a very different way for shedding those extra pounds by using everyone's favorite activity to burn calories and keeping your mind off of sweets—and on your sweetie.

Here's an excerpt:

Have more fun in bed ... and on the scale

Forget the Atkins diet. Celebrities have discovered a new way of
staying in shape—and it’s much more fun. The secret to a slimline
fi gure is not cutting out carbs or saying no to chocolate, it’s indulging
in plenty of sex.

We have all heard the phrase “a healthy sexual appetite.” Usually, it refers to an individual’s ravenous desire for sex. However, after reading this book, you’ll never look at this phrase the same way again. I will teach you how to increase your desire for sexual activity, help you lose weight, tone key areas, eat and feel healthier, and improve your overall attitude toward life, all through sex—the best workout program ever created, “patented” long ago by Adam and Eve!

Having sex feels great. If done right, we feel good during sex for the physical pleasure it provides, and we feel wonderful after sex for the emotional connection created
through the romantic adventure with our partner. Many people, however, do not necessarily feel good about their bodies’ appearance in general and especially not when they’re making
love. If this is the case, they cannot completely enjoy the experience.

Like bears going into hibernation, some people dive beneath the sheets as soon as they climax. It’s certainly easy to lose the afterglow when a beam of light glimmers on the flab about which you’re so self-conscious. People get so busy focusing on their rolls of unwanted fat that they forget all about the “meat”—the joy of giving and receiving love, which is, after all,the main ingredient in our human sandwich!

This is a problem that plagues a large percentage of our population. In fact, studies have shown that the great majority of women think they’re too fat. It’s time to do something about that! To help you improve your body’s shape and your body image is the primary reason I wrote this book. And what better way than with sex, on the Ultimate Sex Diet!

According to government studies by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, obesity plagues more than fifty-nine million Americans. Too many of us are overweight, overworked,
and overwhelmed by life in general, and sex in particular. Too few of us find the time or the interest to get much exercise. I will elaborate on these concerns in Chapter 2, The Ultimate Exercise Machine, and in Chapter 3, Stress Relief: Undress to Decompress. The rest of the book will also provide guidance on how to address these problems.

I want everyone who reads this groundbreaking book to feel good about sex, to feel good during and after sex, and to use sex as a tool to improve their physical appearance and outlook on life. Of course, this primarily applies to adults who are involved in a monogamous relationship, or one in which safe sex is consistently practiced. The importance of having sex in a loving, monogamous relationship was hinted at by a Japanese study in which nineteen of forty-two people who had a stroke during sex were being unfaithful at the time.

In a study entitled “Money, Sex, and Happiness,” published by the National Bureau of Economic Research in May 2004, Dartmouth College economist David Blanchflower and economist Andrew Oswald of Warwich University in England found that to maximize happiness, a person should have just one sexual partner. They discovered that “people who say they have ever paid for sex are considerably less happy than others. Those who have ever had sex outside their marriage also report notably low happiness.”

Just as too much exercise, or the wrong kind of exercise, can be counterproductive, not all sexual activity falls within the realm of the Ultimate Sex Diet. For instance, scientific studies show that having sex with multiple partners can increase a man’s risk of getting cancer or certain other diseases by up to 40 percent. That’s because he runs a greater risk of contracting a sexually related infection that might compromise his immune system.

Moreover, certain relationships give you a head start toward getting the most benefit from making love. For example, if you marry your partner, you are more likely to engage in sex more frequently. According to a 1998 study performed at the University of Chicago, married couples engage in sexual activity 25–300 percent more often than non-married people, depending on age.

On top of that, decades of research has clearly shown that marriage increases your life span. Over twice as many divorced and widowed men, and one and a half times as many single
men, die before married men do. This expanded life span also applies to married women. About 10 percent more wives outlive single women, and 50 percent more outlive divorcees
and widows. Apparently, “happily ever after” really means happily ever after—plus a few more years.

A study at Duke University that followed 270 men and women over a span of twenty-five years reinforced these findings. It determined that “frequency of intercourse was a significant predictor of longevity for men while enjoyment of intercourse was a predictor for women.” So it seems that sex helps you live longer, whether the positive benefits stem from your body or your mind.

Living in America, we are raised to hide our bodies’ flaws whenever possible. This is something that should apply only when you are out in public, and not in the privacy of your bedroom with your committed lover. Your partner should love you regardless of the shape your body is in.

Often, your partner does love you for better or for worse, so you alone hurt your self-image when you complain about your least favorite body parts and do nothing to change them.

Many women use the images of supermodels in bikinis, whom they see on television or in magazines, to give them the incentive to lose weight. Unfortunately, this practically ensures
failure since most women lack the body type to ever look like these supermodels. Instead of helping you lose weight, these images can actually make you feel inferior, leading to depression and binge eating.

I will teach you to use a more effective incentive to slim down by using your imagination and focusing on you. The imagery in your mind of a more sensual you is a much more realistic and tangible motivational tool than some airbrushed, touched-up photo from a glossy fashion magazine. In Chapter 4, Body Image: Feeling Hot, Hot, HOT, I’ll show you how to boost your self-confidence and perception of yourself.

Many people lose weight at the start of a new relationship. The excitement of a new love can temporarily speed up their metabolism. The constant thinking about food when you’re
single is replaced with loving thoughts of the new special person in your life. New lovers may also feel motivated to improve their appearance to further attract the ones they love, with the
hope that the object of their affection will reciprocate their love.

When the “honeymoon period” ends, however, the pounds often quickly return. Couples eventually reach a level of comfort with each other and spend more and more of their time together socializing while eating and drinking. They begin to feel more secure and often “let themselves go.” This is when being part of a couple can negatively influence eating habits, particularly when one partner is less health-conscious than the other. The bad habits of each partner inevitably begin to transfer to the other.

Then it’s the Ultimate Sex Diet to the rescue! It will motivate both of you to maintain a constant, intense level of frequent and pleasurable sexual activity.

That is why the Ultimate Sex Diet is most effective when both partners participate. It is still effective (and beneficial for both parties) with just one of you on the diet, but ideally both
partners should be involved so that a positive transference prevails over a negative one.

Speaking of downers, the word “diet” can have a negative connotation. It is not a coincidence that the first three letters of the word spell “die.” Most of us feel like we want to die when we are limiting our food intake. So, instead of viewing this as a “Sex Diet,” I personally choose to replace the “i” with a “u” (coincidentally, a great strategy in the bedroom), and view the Ultimate Sex Diet as a “Sex Duet Exercise and Nutritional Program,” to give it a more positive ring.

I think a sex duet sounds fun, and indeed it is! This is also an appropriate term to use for our particular purposes, since sex involves two parties “singing” together, instead of just one
person doing a solo. The most positive outcome of this interactive slimming program is that your partnership ultimately benefits just as much as each of you do. In Chapter 5, Feeling Sexy Every Night, you’ll learn how both you and your partner can work together to achieve your unique diet goals.

The first step of the Ultimate Sex Diet is to make your whole food experience more sensual. The key is not only to focus on healthier foods that make you feel good while eating them, but also to fully appreciate the entire sensation of eating. You will soon discover that this diet is not about restrictions and deprivation. It is about celebrating, feeling, and indulging in life.

“How can that be?” you might be wondering. Just think about how many negative attitudes you have about food. Traditional diets do nothing but reinforce these “bad food vibes.” But when food and eating are associated with the benefits derived from more intense foreplay, sex, and afterglow, your entire approach to food changes for the better.

Like many areas of our lives, when it comes to eating and making love we need to take more time to completely enjoy what we experience. You need to enjoy the scent, the texture, the taste, and the feelings that are created when you eat, just as when you are making love. On the Ultimate Sex Diet you will be encouraged to try new exotic and sensual foods. Won’t that
be fun?!

In Chapter 12, Sexual Nutrition: Healthy Foods for Healthy Loving, I will discuss how to approach food in a way that will heighten your sensory experience and how to translate these techniques into the bedroom. I will also discuss foods that are sexy to eat, those that serve as aphrodisiacs, and foods that can actually be used in the bedroom to enhance your sexual experiences.

In Chapter 14, Fighting Cravings: Don’t Crave Sweets, Crave Your Sweetie, I will teach you how to fight your food cravings. You will learn how to transform a craving for junk food into a craving for your partner. (Move over Baby Ruth—I’m looking for Mr. Goodbar!) Many times we eat when we are not hungry, to fill an emotional void. I will tell you why that void exists in the first place and discuss the body movements, mind tricks, and various mental strategies specifically designed to fill the void without filling your belly!

If you’ve been watching the news lately, you may have heard that there are many health benefits associated with sex. These include longer life spans, better cardiovascular health (surprise! sex really helps the heart), higher pain tolerances, an improved immune system, and a lower rate of depression. Chapter 16, Sexual Healing: The Amazing Health Benefits of Sex, will detail what science has discovered about the dramatic and positive impact sex can have on your physical wellbeing.

Now the tantalizing question becomes, are we dieting to have more sex, or are we having sex to diet? You will love the chapters devoted to what some have fondly called “Sexercise.” This is an activity many of us have been engaging in for years without realizing the benefits we were reaping. Such lack of awareness caused us to miss opportunities to increase those
benefits. If you’ve ever had sore muscles the morning after a good night of lovemaking, you may have been sexercising without even realizing it.

Aerobically, a half-hour romp in the sheets burns approximately 150–250 calories and sometimes even 350 calories if you are frisky enough. This is roughly the equivalent of briskly walking, running, or lifting weights for thirty minutes. Now which would you rather do: make sensual love with a warm partner, or just have a sweaty session on a cold and clammy exercise machine?

The regular calorie “burning” from sex doesn’t even include the additional calories used up during the strength and toning exercises you will learn about in Chapters 7, 8, and 9. Using my tantalizing suggestions for increasing the amount of foreplay involved in sex will burn up even more calories and also increase the amount of time you spend making love. These exercises will not only improve your body’s appearance, they will also enhance your pleasure during sex and lead to greater orgasms. You’ll be thanking me sooner than you think!

As you will discover, sex is a great exercise, and the more exercise you do in general, the better your sex life will be. Researchers at the University of California at San Diego found that three to four one-hour workouts per week helped men achieve steadier, more satisfying
sex sessions with their partners. In a Harvard School of Public Health study, men who worked out vigorously for twenty to thirty minutes several times a week reduced their risk of erection problems by half. Researchers at the University of Texas at Austin discovered that women’s genital blood flow after watching an X-rated film was much greater after exercising than it was without the workout.

So, it’s an amazing cycle: The more you exercise, the more sex you have, and the more sex you have, the more exercise you are getting! Isn’t this the most natural and most pleasurable way to really lose weight and keep it off? Isn’t this one of the best ways to get healthier and happier? Isn’t life great? Yes!

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